81 jokes
Turkeys
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Ages 5+
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To prove it wasn't chicken.
What's a turkey's favorite dessert?
Ages 5+
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Peach gobbler.
Why do turkeys always say “gobble, gobble”?
Ages 3+
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They never learned their table manners.
What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving?
Ages 3+
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Lucky.
What sound does a turkey's phone make?
Ages 3+
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“Wing, wing!”
Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?
Ages 3+
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The outside.
Why don't turkeys eat Thanksgiving dinner?
Ages 3+
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They're already stuffed.
What do you call a running turkey?
Ages 3+
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Fast food.
How do you make a turkey float?
Ages 5+
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Two scoops of ice cream, some root beer and one turkey.
Why did the turkey get detention?
Ages 8+
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It kept using fowl language.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Ages 5+
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Enough drumsticks for everyone.
Why did the turkey become a comedian?
Ages 5+
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It knew how to wing it.
What's a turkey's favorite race?
Ages 3+
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The Turkey Trot.
How did the turkey get to the party?
Ages 8+
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It rode the gravy train.
What's the most musical part of a turkey?
Ages 3+
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The drumstick.
Why did the turkey pack a suitcase in November?
Ages 5+
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It wanted to be out of town by Thursday.
Why don't turkeys ever need a map?
Ages 8+
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They use the Gobble Positioning System.
Pies & pumpkins
What did the pumpkin pie say to the whipped cream?
Ages 3+
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“You top off my day!”
Why did the pie go to the dentist?
Ages 5+
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It needed a filling.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
Ages 5+
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With a pumpkin patch.
Why was the apple pie crying?
Ages 5+
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Its peelings were hurt.
Why couldn't the pie come out and play?
Ages 3+
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It had to stay home and cool off.
What do you get when you divide a pumpkin pie's circumference by its diameter?
Teens
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Pumpkin pi.
What's a pumpkin's favorite sport?
Ages 5+
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Squash.
Why was the pumpkin pie so popular?
Ages 8+
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Everyone wanted a slice of the action.
What did the pecan say to the pie?
Ages 3+
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“I'm nuts about you.”
What do you call a pumpkin that guards the patch?
Ages 8+
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A security gourd.
Why did the pumpkin roll out of the kitchen?
Ages 3+
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Someone said it was pie time.
How do pumpkins say thank you?
Ages 3+
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“Thanks a patch!”
What does a pumpkin say when it's surprised?
Ages 5+
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“Oh my gourd!”
The dinner table
Why did the potato cross the road?
Ages 5+
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It saw a fork up ahead.
Why did the dinner roll go to school?
Ages 5+
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To make the honor roll.
Why did the gravy get a good grade?
Ages 8+
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It poured over its notes.
What did the plate say to the fork?
Ages 3+
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“Dinner's on me!”
Why did the cranberries turn red?
Ages 8+
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They saw the turkey dressing.
How does canned cranberry sauce keep its shape?
Ages 5+
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It has a can-do attitude.
What do you call a stolen yam?
Ages 5+
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A hot potato.
What's red and goes up and down?
Ages 3+
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A cranberry in an elevator.
Which kitchen tool is the most thankful?
Ages 5+
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The grater. It's always grate-ful.
What did the leftovers say when they went into the fridge?
Ages 8+
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“Foiled again!”
How could everyone tell the turkey was delicious?
Ages 3+
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They gobbled it all up.
What did the butter say to the dinner roll?
Ages 5+
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“Spread the word!”
What did the salt say to the pepper at Thanksgiving dinner?
Ages 8+
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“Season's greetings!”
Why is the kids' table always so chatty?
Ages 5+
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It's full of small talk.
Pilgrims & the Mayflower
If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?
Ages 5+
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Pilgrims!
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Ages 8+
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Plymouth Rock.
Why did the Pilgrims' pants keep falling down?
Ages 5+
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They wore their buckles on their hats.
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Ages 8+
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Their age.
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey instead of moose?
Ages 5+
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They couldn't fit a moose in the oven.
What did the Mayflower say when it finally reached land?
Ages 5+
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“Long time, no sea!”
Football & parades
Why was the Thanksgiving football stadium so chilly?
Ages 5+
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It was full of fans.
Why did the football player bring string to the Thanksgiving game?
Ages 5+
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So he could tie the score.
What did the turkey say when it saw the giant parade balloon?
Ages 3+
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“Look, it's my famous cousin!”
What did the parade balloon say to the kids on the curb?
Ages 3+
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“Look up to me!”
Why did the football team sign a turkey?
Ages 8+
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It was great at gobbling up yards.
Why are football players so good at Thanksgiving dinner?
Ages 5+
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They know how to tackle a plate.
Why do football players love Thanksgiving?
Ages 8+
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The whole day is one big huddle.
Thankful & leftovers
What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
Ages 5+
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Fowl weather.
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
Ages 5+
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The tur-key.
What's a turkey most thankful for?
Ages 8+
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Vegetarians.
Who's the best helper at Thanksgiving cleanup?
Ages 3+
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The dog under the table.
What happens after you eat too much Thanksgiving dinner?
Ages 8+
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You feel the gravy-tational pull of the couch.
What did the turkey sandwich say on Friday?
Ages 8+
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“Same turkey, new outfit.”
What do you call a Thanksgiving dinner that never ends?
Ages 3+
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Leftovers.
Why did the family bring a tape measure to Thanksgiving?
Ages 5+
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To see how much everyone had grown since last year.
Why was the fridge so popular the day after Thanksgiving?
Ages 3+
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Everybody came by to visit the leftovers.
One-liners for big kids
The turkey ran for mayor this year.
Ages 8+
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It promised to cut down on all the gobbledygook.
I asked the pumpkin pie how it was doing.
Ages 8+
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It said it couldn't complain, it's very well-rounded.
I'd tell you a joke about leftovers,
Ages 8+
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but you already heard it yesterday.
I made a list of everything I'm thankful for.
Ages 8+
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So far it just says “pie” forty times.
I told the mashed potatoes a joke.
Ages 8+
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They found it very a-peeling.
The pumpkin pie got a promotion at work.
Teens
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Now it's part of the upper crust.
Thanksgiving knock-knocks
One kid knocks; the whole table answers in chorus.
Knock, knock.Who's there?Turkey.Turkey who?
Ages 3+
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Turkey the lock and let me in, I'm hungry!
Knock, knock.Who's there?Pumpkin.Pumpkin who?
Ages 5+
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Pumpkin to say happy Thanksgiving!
Knock, knock.Who's there?Yam.Yam who?
Ages 3+
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Yam here for dinner! Let me in!
Knock, knock.Who's there?Feather.Feather who?
Ages 5+
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Feather you let me in or not, I'm staying for pie!
Knock, knock.Who's there?Peas.Peas who?
Ages 3+
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Peas pass the mashed potatoes!
Knock, knock.Who's there?Leaf.Leaf who?
Ages 3+
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Leaf some pie for me, please!
Knock, knock.Who's there?Isadore.Isadore who?
Ages 5+
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Isadore locked? I can smell the turkey!
Knock, knock.Who's there?Irish.Irish who?
Ages 5+
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Irish you a happy Thanksgiving!
Knock, knock.Who's there?Corn.Corn who?
Ages 5+
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Corn-gratulations, you get the first slice of pie!
Play it at a party
Kids' Table Joke Jar
4–12
Ages
Any size
Players
10–30 min
How long
- Fold 15 to 20 jokes into a jar or a small bowl in the middle of the kids' table.
- Between courses, one kid draws a joke and reads the setup out loud.
- The table shouts guesses, then the reader reveals the punchline.
- Pass the jar to the left. Grown-ups read for kids who can't yet.
Turkey Waddle Punchlines
4–10
Ages
6–20, two teams
Players
10–15 min
How long
- Set up the turkey waddle relay as usual, with a pile of joke cards at each team's turnaround cone.
- Each waddler grabs a card at the cone and waddles back.
- Before the next waddler can go, the team has to hear the setup and shout one guess.
- First team through every waddler wins. Read all the punchlines together at the end.
Borrowed from turkey waddle relay, where the full rules live.
Pin the Joke on the Turkey
4–9
Ages
4–15
Players
10–15 min
How long
- Write one joke setup on the back of each paper feather before the game.
- Play pin the feather on the turkey as usual, blindfold and all.
- After each turn, a grown-up reads the setup on that kid's feather and the group guesses.
- Whoever lands closest to the tail reads the last punchline.
Borrowed from pin the feather on the turkey, where the full rules live.
When to run it
- During the long wait while the turkey finishes cooking.
- At the kids' table, one joke between each course.
- At the class Thanksgiving party, before the feast.
More games for the same party: Thanksgiving Games for Kids and Fall Festival Games for Kids.
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Pumpkin patch party
A pumpkin patch party built around the one call every family actually has to make — a real farm trip or a backyard afternoon — plus the games, the food, the decor and a printable invitation either way.
Pumpkin patch party ideas
Farm party
A farm party built on animals kids already know — duck-duck-goose, a potato-sack race, a farm-stand snack table, and a printable barnyard invitation.
Farm party ideasFrequently asked questions
- What are good Thanksgiving jokes for kids?
- Turkey, pie and Pilgrim jokes with one clear pun work best, because kids know them from school and the dinner table. Turkey jokes suit preschoolers; the Pilgrim and one-liner jokes fit ages 8 and up.
- How do you use Thanksgiving jokes at the kids' table?
- Put a joke jar in the middle of the table and let kids take turns drawing one between courses. The reader says the setup, the table guesses, and the reader reveals the punchline. It keeps a table of cousins busy while the grown-ups talk.
- Are these Thanksgiving jokes okay for preschoolers?
- Yes, the ones tagged 3–5 are. They rely on a sound or a picture a young child already knows, like a turkey saying “gobble.” Use the age filter to show only those, and read them aloud.
- What Thanksgiving games can kids play with jokes?
- Joke versions of the turkey waddle relay and pin the feather on the turkey both work, as does a simple joke jar. Each one gives kids a turn to read or guess, so mixed ages can play together.
