131 jokes
Animals
What do you call a bull taking a nap?
Ages 3+
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A bulldozer.
Why do cows wear bells?
Ages 3+
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Because their horns don't work.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Ages 3+
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A pork chop.
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
Ages 5+
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An investigator.
Why don't elephants use computers?
Ages 3+
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They're scared of the mouse.
What kind of key opens a banana?
Ages 3+
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A mon-key.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
Ages 5+
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A walkie-talkie.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
Ages 3+
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A walk.
Where do sheep go to get a haircut?
Ages 3+
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The baa-baa shop.
Why can't a leopard win at hide-and-seek?
Ages 3+
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Because it's always spotted.
What does a spider do on the computer?
Ages 5+
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It builds a website.
Which bird is always out of breath?
Ages 3+
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A puffin.
What do you call a snail on a boat?
Ages 3+
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A snailor.
Why did the cow cross the road?
Ages 3+
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To get to the udder side.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
Ages 5+
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A pouch potato.
Food
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Ages 3+
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It wasn't peeling well.
Why did the cookie go to the school nurse?
Ages 3+
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It was feeling crummy.
What do you call a noodle that's only pretending?
Ages 5+
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An impasta.
What kind of nut has no shell?
Ages 3+
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A doughnut.
Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?
Ages 3+
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They'd crack each other up.
What did the hamburger name its baby?
Ages 3+
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Patty.
What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?
Ages 3+
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“Yellow?”
Why are bananas never lonely?
Ages 3+
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They hang around in bunches.
Which vegetable is the coolest one in the fridge?
Ages 3+
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The rad-ish.
Why was the little cookie crying?
Ages 8+
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Its mom had been a wafer so long.
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
Ages 3+
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It ran out of juice.
Why did the jelly wobble?
Ages 3+
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It saw the milkshake.
What's the best thing to eat in the bathtub?
Ages 3+
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Sponge cake.
What does a nut say when it sneezes?
Ages 3+
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“Cashew!”
School
Why did the student bring a ladder to school?
Ages 5+
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To get into high school.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to class?
Ages 5+
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Because the class was so bright.
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Ages 5+
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Hiss-tory.
How do bees get to school?
Ages 5+
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On the school buzz.
Why did the kid toss the clock out the window?
Ages 5+
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To see time fly.
Why was the broom late for school?
Ages 5+
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It over-swept.
Why did the clock get sent to the principal's office?
Ages 5+
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It tocked too much.
Why did the kid do homework on the airplane?
Ages 5+
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To get higher grades.
Which school supply rules the classroom?
Ages 5+
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The ruler.
Why did the kid eat their homework?
Ages 5+
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The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Ages 5+
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Because seven eight nine.
What did the glue say to the teacher?
Ages 5+
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“I'm stuck on this question.”
Why is a pencil the heaviest thing in your backpack?
Ages 8+
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Because it's full of lead.
What do you call a number that can't sit still?
Ages 8+
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A roamin' numeral.
Space
How do you throw a party in space?
Ages 5+
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You planet.
What did the alien say to the flower bed?
Ages 5+
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“Take me to your weeder.”
What's an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
Ages 5+
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The space bar.
How does the moon cut its hair?
Ages 8+
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Eclipse it.
What kind of songs do planets sing?
Ages 5+
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Nep-tunes.
Where do astronauts leave their spaceships?
Ages 5+
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At a parking meteor.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Ages 8+
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It already had a million degrees.
Why did the moon skip dessert?
Ages 5+
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It was already full.
What do you call a tick on the moon?
Ages 8+
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A luna-tick.
What did Mars say to Saturn?
Ages 5+
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“Give me a ring sometime.”
How do astronauts eat their ice cream?
Ages 5+
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In floats.
What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?
Ages 5+
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An astro-nut.
Dinosaurs
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
Ages 3+
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A dino-snore.
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
Ages 5+
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A try-and-try-and-try-ceratops.
What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words?
Ages 8+
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A thesaurus.
What's a T. rex's favorite number?
Ages 5+
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Eight. (Ate. Get it?)
What do you say when a dinosaur sneezes?
Ages 3+
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“Bless you!” from very, very far away.
How can you tell there's a dinosaur in your fridge?
Ages 3+
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The door won't shut.
What do you call a dinosaur in a cowboy hat?
Ages 3+
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Tyrannosaurus Tex.
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes its car?
Ages 5+
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Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Ages 8+
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Because chickens hadn't been invented yet.
What kind of floors do dinosaurs like?
Ages 5+
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Rep-tiles.
What do you call a fossil hunter who naps all day?
Ages 5+
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Lazy bones.
What does a triceratops sit on?
Ages 3+
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Its tricera-bottom.
What did the dinosaur use to build its house?
Ages 3+
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A dino-saw.
Ocean
Why are fish so smart?
Ages 3+
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They swim around in schools.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Ages 3+
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Nothing. It just waved.
Why won't the crab share its snacks?
Ages 5+
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Because it's shellfish.
What do you call a fish wearing a bow tie?
Ages 5+
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Sofishticated.
Where do fish keep their money?
Ages 3+
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In the riverbank.
What do you call a band of whales?
Ages 5+
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An orca-stra.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ages 3+
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With ten-tickles.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Ages 3+
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Pepper makes them sneeze.
Which fish only comes out at night?
Ages 3+
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The starfish.
What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Ages 3+
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Fish and ships.
What does a shark like with its peanut butter?
Ages 3+
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Jellyfish.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
Ages 5+
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To get to the other tide.
Why are pirates called pirates?
Ages 3+
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Because they arrr!
Sports & games
Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
Ages 5+
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It was tired of getting kicked around.
What do you call a pig that plays basketball?
Ages 5+
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A ball hog.
Why are frogs so good at baseball?
Ages 5+
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They catch flies.
Why did the baseball team hire a baker?
Ages 5+
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They needed a better batter.
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
Ages 8+
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To get his quarter back.
What's a cheerleader's favorite drink?
Ages 5+
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Root beer.
Why don't fish play basketball?
Ages 5+
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They're scared of the net.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Ages 8+
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She keeps running away from the ball.
Why can't you play hide-and-seek with mountains?
Ages 5+
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They're always peaking.
Why did the bowling pins stop working?
Ages 5+
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They went on strike.
What do runners eat right before a race?
Ages 8+
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Nothing. They fast.
How do hens cheer for their team?
Ages 5+
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They egg them on.
Why was the basketball court all wet?
Ages 5+
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The players kept dribbling.
Knock-knock
One kid knocks, everyone else answers in chorus.
Knock, knock.Who's there?Nobel.Nobel who?
Ages 3+
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Nobel on this door, so I had to knock!
Knock, knock.Who's there?Imogen.Imogen who?
Ages 5+
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Imogen a world with no knock-knock jokes. Pretty boring, right?
Knock, knock.Who's there?Al.Al who?
Ages 3+
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Al give you a hug if you open the door!
Knock, knock.Who's there?Heart.Heart who?
Ages 3+
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Heart to hear you through this door. Can you open it?
Knock, knock.Who's there?Beets.Beets who?
Ages 3+
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Beets me, I forgot my own name!
Knock, knock.Who's there?Tyrone.Tyrone who?
Ages 5+
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Tyrone shoelaces, you're big enough now!
Knock, knock.Who's there?Nacho.Nacho who?
Ages 3+
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Nacho average knock-knock joke!
Knock, knock.Who's there?Abe.Abe who?
Ages 3+
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Abe C D E F G… (Sing the rest of the alphabet song.)
Knock, knock.Who's there?Alien.Alien who?
Ages 3+
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Um, how many aliens do you know?
Knock, knock.Who's there?Eggs.Eggs who?
Ages 3+
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Eggs-cited to see me?
Knock, knock.Who's there?Max.Max who?
Ages 3+
Show the punchlineHide the punchline
Max no difference, just let me in!
Knock, knock.Who's there?Honey bee.Honey bee who?
Ages 3+
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Honey bee a dear and open the door!
One-liners for big kids
Wordplay that needs a bigger vocabulary. Best from about age 8.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
Ages 8+
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It's impossible to put down.
I tried to catch some fog this morning.
Ages 8+
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I mist.
My dog used to chase people on bikes.
Ages 8+
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It got so bad, I had to take his bike away.
I don't trust stairs.
Ages 8+
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They're always up to something.
The astronaut said he wasn't upset with anyone.
Ages 8+
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He just needed a little space.
I used to work at a bank,
Ages 8+
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but I lost interest.
Time flies like an arrow.
Teens
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Fruit flies like a banana.
I just learned who invented the shovel.
Ages 8+
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What a ground-breaking discovery.
I bought a dictionary, but every page was blank.
Ages 8+
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I have no words for how upset I am.
I wrote a joke about a broken pencil,
Ages 8+
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but it was pointless.
I couldn't keep my job at the orange juice factory.
Ages 8+
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I just couldn't concentrate.
I'd tell you a joke about construction,
Ages 8+
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but I'm still working on it.
Easy jokes for little kids
Short and concrete: a sound, an animal, a silly picture.
What's a cat's favorite color?
Ages 3+
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Purr-ple!
What sound does a cow make when it sneezes?
Ages 3+
Show the punchlineHide the punchline
Ah-MOO!
What animal is always at a baseball game?
Ages 3+
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A bat.
What do frogs order at restaurants?
Ages 3+
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French flies.
Why do bananas wear sunscreen?
Ages 3+
Show the punchlineHide the punchline
So they don't peel.
Where do cows go on Friday night?
Ages 3+
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To the moo-vies.
What does a cloud wear under its raincoat?
Ages 3+
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Thunderwear.
What did the zero say to the eight?
Ages 3+
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“Nice belt!”
What kind of music do bunnies like?
Ages 3+
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Hip-hop.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
Ages 3+
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A palm tree.
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Ages 3+
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It's too far to walk.
What kind of dog loves bath time?
Ages 3+
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A shampoodle.
What's black and white and pink all over?
Ages 5+
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A penguin who forgot the punchline.
Play it at a party
Try Not to Laugh
6–12
Ages
4–20, two teams
Players
10–15 min
How long
- Split into two teams and line them up facing each other, one partner across from another.
- A player on team one reads a joke to their partner, punchline and all.
- If the partner smiles or laughs, team one scores a point. A straight face scores nothing.
- Swap roles down the line. After five rounds, the team with more points wins.
Borrowed from Musical Statues, where the full rules live.
Joke Jar
5–12
Ages
Any size
Players
5–15 min
How long
- Before the party, copy 20 jokes onto paper strips: setup on the outside, punchline folded inside.
- Drop the strips into a jar near the cake table.
- While everyone waits for cake, a kid draws a strip and reads the setup out loud.
- The room shouts guesses, then the reader unfolds the strip and reveals the punchline.
Pass the Joke
5–10
Ages
6–20
Players
10–15 min
How long
- Sit everyone in a circle and pass a ball or plush toy while music plays.
- When the music stops, the kid holding it reads the setup of the next joke.
- Anyone can call out a guess. A right guess earns a sticker.
- The holder reads the punchline, and the music starts again.
Borrowed from hot potato, where the full rules live.
When to run it
- As guests arrive, before every kid is there.
- While everyone waits for cake or pizza.
- As the cool-down after a high-energy game like freeze dance.
More games for the same party: Indoor Party Games for Kids, Party Games for 5-Year-Olds and Party Games for 8-Year-Olds.
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Dinosaur party
A dinosaur party you can run out of the recycling bin and the backyard — excavation games, a volcano cake that behaves, footprint decor, and a printable invitation.
Dinosaur party ideas
Space party
A space party built around a real countdown and liftoff — a cardboard rocket, moon-rock snacks, a galaxy backdrop from black balloons, and a printable invitation.
Space party ideas
Under-the-sea party
An under the sea party without a single costume required — jellyfish games, crab-claw snacks, a bubble-wrap wall, and a printable invitation any kid can send.
Under-the-sea party ideas
Pirate party
A pirate party built around one real treasure hunt — a cardboard ship, a treasure map you draw yourself, gold-coin snacks, and a printable invitation.
Pirate party ideasFrequently asked questions
- What kind of jokes are good for kids?
- Short question-and-answer jokes with one clear pun work best, because kids can remember them and retell them. Animal, food and school jokes land at almost any age. Wordplay that needs a big vocabulary, like the one-liners here, fits ages 8 and up.
- At what age do kids start to get jokes?
- Most kids laugh at silly sounds by age 3, and puns start to click around 6 or 7, once they notice that one word can mean two things. Use the age filter to match the list to the youngest child in the room.
- How do you use jokes at a kids' birthday party?
- Run them as a game, not a performance. Try Not to Laugh, a joke jar by the cake table and a joke version of hot potato all work with mixed ages, need almost no setup and keep every kid involved. The steps for each are above.
- How do I help a shy kid tell a joke?
- Give them a short question-and-answer joke and let them read it from a card. Have them ask the question, wait one full second, then say the punchline a little louder. Knock-knock jokes are easiest of all, because the whole room answers back.
